Mea culpa

Spelling and grammar.

I will judge you for it, dammit! Education is a right and so many of  you have failed to embrace it, never bothering to figure out the difference between its and it’s or they’re, there and their … among other grammatical foibles.

I’ve always believed you should never be allowed to say a big word if you can’t:

A. Spell it correctly

B. Define it properly

We can even get around our lack of knowledge with wonderful little toys like Spellcheck, when we’re pounding away on our keyboards. Those little red squiggly lines are there for a reason, people!

(Caveat: there’s a squiggly line under ‘mea’ in my headline bar but we all know it’s right, right?)

And now, we’ve been blessed with Auto Correct. Our smartphones will automatically fix a word it thinks is wrong. Hilarity ensues when we’re not paying attention and thanks to Damn You, Auto Correct, we have a forum to send our boners to tell the world.

Boners … heh heh heh.

No, that’s not an Auto Correct! And it’s not a euphemism for anything, dammit! It means mistakes!

I sent DYAC to my Google Reader. Each one comes to my feed and I howl with laughter sometimes … major sexual references get mentioned when parents and kids are texting each other, ‘puck’ gets changed to ‘fuck’ and more.

Today, Auto Correct revealed the true nature of a relationship to some poor sap:

Auto Correct

Oh dear.

To the point, however, I’ve ranted on Twitter about Auto Correct, no matter how entertaining it is. Maybe, I postulated, people wouldn’t get caught by Auto Correct if they ‘knew how to fucking spell.’

And then I got caught. I recently switched to a lovely, shiny HTC Incredible S … with Auto Correct.

Last weekend, I sent a Twitpic from the Manolo Blahnik section of Holt Renfrew. I typed my message and soon received a reply from a friend: ‘Don’t you mean genuflecting at the shrine?’

Uh, yeah, I thought, isn’t that what I said?

No. Auto Correct changed it to ‘reflecting’ and then my Tweet didn’t make much sense.

Last night, I emailed a pic to My American, referencing my ass — and I swear it was totally PG-13. It got changed to ‘add.’

And hilarity ensued.

OK, not really. Those are two totally benign instances. They don’t deserve to make it to the hallowed halls of Damn You, Auto Correct.

But I have learned my lesson.

Maybe some of you do know how to spell.

 

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