I don’t know!
This is the problem.
I don’t even know what not to wear.
I mean, how can I possibly parade myself in front of the fashionable crowd of Calgary without knowing what not to wear.
How could I possibly show up at a Clinton Kelly affair, Styling Your Life, without knowing what to wear.
It’s my first blogging assignment for Downtown Calgary’s site, getdown.ca, and I’m terrified.
I’ve been watching TLC’s What Not to Wear for years … has it been a decade? I should have learned enough by now to strut into my closets and walk out a shining example of fashion.
I should have enough clothes from espy, my favourite Calgary boutique, to be the belle of the ball.
But my biggest fear is that I’ll walk into the Calgary Telus Convention Centre and look like a total shmuck.
Maybe I’ll be too matchy matchy (Clinton hates that).
Maybe I won’t be matchy enough (Clinton hates that).
Maybe my skirt or shorts will be too short for my (almost) 40-year-old legs (no matter how awesome they are).
Maybe I’ll pick the wrong shoes.
OK, hold the phone. There’s no way in hell I’m picking the wrong shoes and you bloody well know it.
Tomorrow morning, I will agonize as I stand in front of my closet while I’m wearing only my fuzzy red bathrobe.
Oooh … maybe I’ll wear my bathrobe. Or no …
Tomorrow morning, I will pound back three cups of coffee, convinced it will help deal with my stress, only to be elevating my blood pressure.
Tomorrow morning, I will probably go through five or six outfits before I settle on just the right one.
Tomorrow morning, I may collapse into a fit of tears while half the closet lies in a pile on the floor.
Tomorrow morning, I’ll go to espy for the bye bye BLACK SALE, hoping Megan or Ashley are there to either:
A. Make sure I’m dressed well enough
B. Sell me something that will make sure I’m dressed well enough
And when it’s all said and done, I will come home and write about it my agony.